Life is such a complicated mess of complexity, hardship, joy, love, loss, dreams and disappointments. Many of us are brought up in what we consider as a “normal” family. We are born innocent, but as soon as we start to grasp the concept of actions leads to consequences, we naturally start pushing our parents, trying to test our boundaries, see what we get away with. And we keep doing this until the day we fly out of the nest.
But almost always it is not just smooth sailing. We get hung up on things, we witness or get exposed to things we maybe should not have been exposed to at that young age. And these things become baggage. We don’t know what to do with it, so we store it somewhere out of our consciousness. And like with everything else, the longer we carry the baggage the heavier it gets. We work harder trying to ignore it, we resort to what ever it takes to “forget.”
It is our natural self-preservation system that try to make us “forget,” we are trained to stay away from things we fear, when in fact we should remember instead. We should allow ourselves to feel what ever it is we have oppressed for years. Those wounds will never heal, if we don’t let our selves go through the emotions hidden for years.
My own songs helped me to understand and undertake the process, while I finally penned down some of those emotions that had been buried for decades and turn them in to songs. Actually singing them out loud gave me relief. And by sharing my journey I hope I can help others to deal with their past and build a new future.
What’s on the other side? I am only starting to come to terms with it all. I hesitate to say too much, as if someone had told me what’s to come few years back, I might have got scared and try to oppress everything even harder. I might have spiralled into even more self-destruction, and who knows, maybe that time there would have not been any return from it.
When I look at you and see the fear in your eyes, let me just say: in this rare occasion the grass truly is greener on the other side. I have lost the need to try desperately to “forget”. Instead everything seems more clear, light and focused. And I am really enjoying this clarity so much more than I ever did trying to fog my mind and “forget.”
So I hope you find strength in my story my friend, as you get ready to face the first day what I hope is going to be your new life, better life, happier life.
The author J.P. Kallio is a singer songwriter
To get EIGHT of his songs for free go HERE