The term “Friend” really can mean so many things to different people. This week’s song “Just Friends” talks about something I have witnessed over and over again. I have seen it cause a lot of heartache to people, I have seen it destroy relationships an I have seen people drag to the ground and in some cases it took them years to get back up. We all have friends who we connect better than the rest, someone who just gets us. But those boundaries of friendship can easily get mixed up with deeper feelings and before you know you are head over heals in love with someone who was “just a friend”. Now this situation obviously can get more complicated again, if both sides take the relationship to “the next level”, but only one of the involved has the deep emotional investment in the relationship and the other one just sees it as something “handy” when there is nothing else around.
Sooner you know your life is built around a schedule that will make you see the other person, when it suits them. You go to ridiculous lengths just to see them and if anybody else gets in the way, they get brushed aside. Before you know, you have built a world around you that is only optimised to feed your love that you still try to convince yourself and everybody else is just a friendship. You live your life through others and forget to actually live yourself. And the deeper you are in this bubble of a world you built around you, the harder it is to let go. This is a form of emotional addiction. And the worst thing is, I have never seen one of these situations actually turn into a healthy relationship.
I would like to say it comes down to self respect, but any form of addiction is past the point of seeing it in that light. Once again you need to learn to love your self enough not to let anyone to treat you as a rag doll. You deserve better, you deserve to live fulfilling life. But you need to do it for yourself not for others, otherwise it will never work.
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The author J.P. Kallio is a singer songwriter
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