I often thought why do we have this underlying need to somehow chance the person we are in relationship with. I think I’ve seen more relationships over the years go down the drain due to this, than anything else. Instead of taking a person as they are, we try to mould them into some idea we have in our head of how they should be. I know balance is hard to maintain and often someone in the relationship ends up being the more dominant partner. In fact I don’t think there is nothing wrong with that up to a certain point. Some of us desire the security this sometimes brings. And I am not talking about someone deciding everything for you, but if your natural instinct is to take your life savings and hit the casino when the Friday night comes along, maybe it would be a good idea to have someone there to sit you down and suggest that maybe this is not a good idea 😉
But here’s the thing, if you want your partner to behave differently than what they are, you’re possibly heading for a disaster. Of course people can change, but the change has to come from them, you cannot change someone. Sure we can alter our behaviour to suit someone else, but if that is not who we really are, it is only matter of time before something is going to give in. Sure we all are on our best behaviour at the beginning of relationship, but you need to learn to be yourself with someone before you have any chance of a survival. And for the love of all the greatness in this universe, talk people! Talk before you are too deep in the relationship. It is never a pretty sight when you have three kids and a mortgage and you realise the person you are with is not really what you thought they were.
And we always like to feel like we are the victim. This is basic survival, our mind tries to protect us from the hard stuff, which is admitting there might be something wrong with us. But in most relationships both parties make mistakes and both parties need to look into themselves. If you instead try to look at what you are doing wrong, like for example even allowing someone to push you to act a way that is not you. You need to ask yourself why are you allowing this happen to your? And I bet deep down the truth is not trying to save your relationship, it’s trying to avoid facing the hard stuff.
So yeah, deep song once again 😉 I had to visit some old wounds from years ago with this one. But as always, I believe by talking and singing these songs not only do I get it out of my system, but I hope it can be a light for someone in a similar situation right now. So please share this weeks song “Take Me As I Am” with someone you think might be affected by the subject of the song. And thanks for listening 🙂
P.S. Journey Instruments OF420 once again on this track, for those of you looking for more sound samples of this wonderful guitar.
The author J.P. Kallio is a singer songwriter
To get two of his free songs go HERE and click Download